Monthly Archives: February 2013

Immortalised in footwear

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I had kind of forgotten, but I have a shoe named after me. A couple of years go, on my birthday, kickass British shoe designer Kat Maconie tweeted an offer to name shoes from her next collection after people who responded quickest to the tweet. I was among those lucky few (I guess it’s one of the benefits of having a distinctive but unspellable/unpronounceable name), and lo, the Gwyneth shoe was born! Although I didn’t keep up with the previous iteration, in mink or mossy velvet, black or fuchsia metallic leather, it seems they’re still going strong for this season too. How’s that for style validation?!

They’ve done the style in a new summery nude palette, plus a black “synleather” version. You can check them out here, if you fancy wearing me on your feet?!

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Beige is best

Breaded, battered, fried, covered with bubbling molten cheese, carb-heavy, snooze-inducing and artery-clogging, beige food is the best, and kind of the worst. At home, I generally try to create a multi-coloured plate in an attempt at balanced nutrition, but it’s difficult to escape my appetite for hearty, comforting monochrome stodge. The recent UK domination of American staples mac ‘n’ cheese, pancakes, burgers and fries etc is raising beige food to a fine art, while dovetailing so nicely with our own taupe traditions of pie & mash, chip butties and the like.

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Mac ‘n’ cheese in a bowl made of bread. Delicious and terrifying.

I blame my need for beige on my Northern/Scottish heritage. And Guy Fieri. His show on Food Network, Diners, Drive-ins & Dives, is a sticky and excessive kind of food porn, and a true guilty pleasure for almost as many of my friends as EP on Sunday. Triple-D (as it’s known) isn’t one of those sickening Man vs. Food things, but a celebration of Americana on a plate. There is nothing these restaurateurs and dive-owners can’t barbecue, deep-fry or slather in sauce. And it all looks delicious.

With a couple of impending US trips on the horizon,  it’s going to be difficult to keep my greed in check. Especially on a work trip, where beige foods are offered every hour on the hour, and their idea of a canape is meatloaf in gravy (not even joking). I’m even using the fansite Flavortown USA (which maps all the places shown on Triple-D) to help find local dining joints for my upcoming California road trip. The urge to line up places that just serve massive brunches and deep-fried things -with-dips is overwhelming, but I’m striving to find something a bit more colourful too. It is California, after all.

M’learned colleague Greg (who travels to the US regularly) actively pursues beige food in its many forms, and has become rather an aficionado – he highly recommends The Cheesecake Factory for its beige “bible” menu. His brand-new Tumblr, A Symphony Of Beige, celebrates the infinite configurations of beige food the world over. While America is probably the fondest of taupe-coloured treats, there’s a universal language of beige food. His table-snaps look tempting and yet slightly tasteless, as all good beige food should.

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All hail Queen Bey

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As a lifelong fan of Beyoncé and all her works, is it weird to be merely whelmed by Beyoncé’s spectacular Superbowl show? I proper love B, but the song choices were a bit off and she was more hairography than singing. On the upside, her fellow Destiny’s Children totally owned it, and all the stuff with the screens was cool – no surprise with that much high-tech show-womanship on the go, there was a power cut in the stadium straight after Queen Bey’s performance!

Given that I missed the chance to see Destiny’s live in full late-90s flow, I am super-excited that B’s coming into town in a couple of months (even if she’s doing the same corset-and thigh-boots look as Madonna and Kylie and all the other arena-divas) as part of the Mrs Carter Show tour (promo above). Her general splendiferousness is so overwhelming, that when tickets are released at end of Feb, I’ll be throwing money at Bey like there’s no tomorrow. Who cares about my automo-bills?

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